Taking accountability for my actions

I attend my Weight Watchers meeting every week and every week I always weigh in. And if I can’t make it to my meeting, I find another location that either is hosting a meeting at a time I can attend OR I find a location I can go to just to weigh-in to have that accountability for the week.  Now I realize I can go into my meeting, think “gee I had a horrible week, I don’t want to weigh in” and I can choose to not weigh in that week.  I have never explored this option before because for me, personally, if I don’t weigh-in I feel that’s a way to be dishonest with myself and pretending the week before didn’t happen.

After the past week, I knew the majority of it was “off plan” as I was having a pity party.  I felt a little puffier and I knew I had gained, but I didn’t know how much. In my mind, I gained 5+ pounds.  Part of me truly didn’t want to know the damage and for a sheer second I considered not weighing in tonight. I got out of my car, walked into my meeting, put my stuff down on my chair, went to the bathroom (pre-weigh-in ritual) and decided to suck it up and step on the scale. I asked the receptionist weighing me in to not tell me the damage and she didn’t. I saw my weight pop up on the screen and was surprised, it wasn’t that bad!

Truth be told, I gained 2.4 pounds this past week on my pity party. 2.4 pounds! Truly that amount is not that bad and certainly not as bad as I imagined it. I didn’t want to explore the option of not weighing in because that would become an “out” for me and I don’t need any outs in my journey.  Honesty and owning up is the best policy. Not being aware of the “damage” could have essentially caused me to continue the vicious cycle.

My meeting was influential and I learned a good chunk. There are four people in my meeting who recently got laid off in the last 2-weeks … I’m not alone. I realize there are people all over the world/state who are unemployed and/or getting laid off. But as a very powerful and informative lifetimer in my meeting said to me in conversation: it’s up to me to decide how I want to spend my time, how I want to eat my food and what I want to do in a day.

My day was preplanned yesterday and Friday, most of Saturday and half of Sunday are already prelanned.  I’m also planning on going back to the gym – slow and steady because this is my life, my journey and I deserve to get to goal!

Relearning a Lesson

This past week I skated by it on the seat of my pants.  I know after nearly 3 ½ years as a Weight Watchers member that life happens – there are events that come up that can be out of my control, but it’s up to me to take the bull by the horns and make the best of it.  But this past week, I let that bull grab hold of my leg and drag me through the crowd – face first.  I’m not dwelling on it because it’s not going to help me succeed by beating myself up.  I’ve come too far to let a shaken up week deter me from my path – my goals.  I refuse to let a bad week spiral out of control because as I say “If I eat crap, I feel like crap.”  And well … I don’t want to feel like crap, I want to feel fabulous! So, I accepted the gain and knew I had to focus on being on track and being the best version of myself.

Looking back at my week I know exactly what I did.  I know why I stepped on that scale and was slapped in the face with a substantial gain.  I have no excuses and I know exactly what I need to focus on this week.

–          I barely drank any water.  I think I drank one 20 ounce bottle of water all week.  My beverages were riddled with ice coffees, coke zeros and diet orange sodas.

–          I hardly ate any fruits or vegetables. I usually have a salad at least once, if not twice a day and fruit throughout the day. Last week it was like: Salad? What’s a salad?  Fruit as a snack? Huh?

–          I let a bag of Doritos at a barbecue get the best of me. “Family Size” bags of Doritos are a trigger for me.  I can have individual size bags of regular or baked Doritos and be absolutely fine but a large bag of Doritos twerks me out. It triggers some subconscious in my brain which disallows me to count 11 stinking chips. I realize I cannot control all the foods in my environment, but I CAN move those foods away from me so they’re not right in front of me to eat while talking to family and friends.

–          I went into two back-to-back barbecues without a plan of action.  I didn’t have my scale or my measuring cups, so I eyeballed.  And even 3 ½ years in I’m not the greatest at eyeballing, which is why my scale and measuring cups are my BFF’s at home.

–          I did the tango with a few cookies.  The cookies won.

–          I was extremely sedentary.

Lesson relearned: old habits can creep up on you when you’re not fully in the game. But this was a lesson and I learned from it and I’ve already started back on the correct path.  We’ll see what the scale has to say when I weigh in Wednesday (early since my center is closed on the 4^th).